My new life

I was never sure I wanted to have kids. Did you know that? Probably not. I can recall being fifteen and coming to that conclusion. This sentiment followed me over the years, and despite its truth, it never made sense. I did loads of babysitting, taught swim lessons, volunteered at a children's hospital, interned as a child life specialist and taught preschool. I loved kids. Yet friends would gush over how they couldn't wait for motherhood and I could not understand their desire. I would think "But there's so much to DO in life!" Flash forward to nine years of marriage- years that held so much of what one is supposed to DO in life, according to me!- and in the palm of my hand a stick that had just turned blue.

My precious, beautiful baby girl Maia Eden is fourteen weeks old on the day I am writing this. She was ushered into the world by my incredible midwives, Meredith and Christy, in the peace and comfort of our home. I was blessed with a flawless pregnancy, meaningful and empowering prenatal care and a really great birth experience. I love being Maia's mom and I feel a unique sense of accomplishment. Pretty good for someone who wasn't sure about the whole motherhood thing, right?

Looking back, especially now that Maia's been with us for three months, I understand better my former ambivalence about parenthood. Some conclusions aren't fit for blogging (because they make sense only to me) but there is one conclusion I am happy to share: there were some things I needed to go through before I became a mom, period. In the last three years or so I've experienced struggles and pain that brought about personal and spiritual growth that simply could not have been attained through any other medium. I am endlessly thankful for that. By leading me through my wilderness, God gave me a new sense of security in not only who I was, but who He was. So when that stick turned blue, I felt happiness, excitement...and peace. I was ready for my new life.

And Maia? She's a glorious girl. She has blue eyes, dimples and a shock of light brown hair that she loves to have brushed. She lights up when I sing to her and snuggles into John in a way that reduces him to Jell-O. She is a happy soul, clearly mesmerized by every element of her new world. There are still moments when I look at her in disbelief that she is all mine. Becoming a mother bears with it a richness that is beyond my imagination. I am loving every moment of my new life, confident that He who is before all things and holds all things together will continue to mold me into everything I can possibly become. Good thing I did all that babysitting :)

Mooshinsky

It doesn't matter how we refer to Maia, she loves most all attention she can get even if she's being called Godzilla, Killer or Big Nasty (let me note that I, her father, am the sole custodian of such nicknames).

Maia has to be one of the most pleasant-tempered babies around. She never (really NEVER) cries unless it's one of the trifecta: food, diaper or sleep. Even then she's pretty forgiving as we've spent the last three months learning how to navigate one another.

We never get tired of watching her coo and squeak, intently surveiling all the goings-on around her. And, of course, when she smiles like a sunrise on the beach, she wins our hearts every time.

Welcome!

I'm really excited to start my foray into the world of blogging. I hope it will be the perfect outlet for the many musings swirling around my gray matter. I would not like, however, to be known as a "blogger". To me, that word conjures up the decidedly un-feminine images of a logger and a blob. Instead, I've come up with the word "bloggerina", which is much more to my liking because it makes me think about pointe shoes and ballet.

The title of my blog is a line from the classic song "The Garden Song" by Peter, Paul & Mary. I grew up in a beautiful town not far from a little island the Lenni Lenape Indians referred to as Mannahatta, and one of its most popular radio stations was WOR. Every Sunday morning, John Gambling's radio show featured a gardening segment ushered in by the opening bars of "The Garden Song". I thought it would be perfect for a blog title, as that's pretty much what I'm doing with my life: making my proverbial garden grow. Please click here to view a great cover by the equally great John Denver! On a side note, my original title was going to be borrowed from Bernstein's humorous and moving operetta Candide, but Blogger.com informed me that "We'll build our home/and chop our wood/and make our garden grow" was too long. Oh well. Less is more, I suppose!

A big thank you to my wonderful husband for putting the final design touches on the blog (always a work in progress) and for being a guest contributor! Thanks for stopping by, and I hope you will do so often! xo

The Fourth of July

Not to be confused with July 3 or 5, the FOURTH of July is a big deal in our family since it is a time to celebrate generations of Americans' Christ-like sacrifice so that we all could have freedom. It is a time where we find ourselves enjoying the company of family and good friends, too much food and (of all things) large explosions in the night sky.

At any other time of year, you would likely find people bothered by loud, thunderous cracking that echoes off the trees and rattles windows. But one weekend each year reveals boys discovering fire as they shoot off rockets and people supportively look on as Roman candles blaze. Even though by the following year you can hardly remember the previous year's fireworks show, there is something that inspires wonder in every age as we peer into the darkness overhead and anticipate the decibels bulging in our chests.